Pencils

So, I’m sharpening pencils for my program tonight (so people will have something to write with) and a man approaches me while I’m at the pencil sharpener and asks, “Does the library have pencils with erasers?”  I look down at my stack of pencils.  Indeed, we do.  What we put out for the public are those golf pencils (which I hate), but anyone (and everyone) can come up to our information desk to get something more substantial (which they often do).  So I smile and hand him one of my just-sharpened pencils.  Or maybe I grimace because I need 30 of them and I might only have 29 now.  I don’t remember.  Then he says, “Oh…Thanks.” [PAUSE]  “Are these LIBRARY pencils?”  wtf?  Why couldn’t he have stopped with “thanks”?  It is at moments like this that I really wish I could raise just one eyebrow…quizzically, sarcastically, whatever fits the bill.  But I can’t always pull this off.  So I turn to look at him and I say, slowly, “Well, I work at the library…so I guess they must be.”  He walks off with my pencil.  I have no idea what was going on in his head.  Today has been like that with EVERYTHING.  To combat this I have resorted to serious listening.  I figure if the first thing coming out of people’s mouths is completely insane, I can give them a few seconds to clear it up so that we don’t have any more of these awkward conversations/situations.  Mostly this is just stopping me from saying stupid things that would get me a whuppin’.  Although, I guess corporal punishment/discipline has gone the way of so many other things.  (Dead things, Mikey, dead!)

There was also a guy on the phone who was perplexed because we couldn’t get him a brand new textbook (we aren’t allowed to request current publication year materials – too new! from other libraries outside of our system), like, yesterday.  He seemed to be getting angry with me…I couldn’t exactly tell, because he also seemed to be having a conversation with some other party (either on the extension or in another room).  I wanted to ask him – several times – “Are you talking to ME?”  I waited for him to repeat himself just to make sure it was me we were talking to – he certainly wasn’t listening to anything I said to him, as I went over the reasons why we couldn’t request the book and the procedure for considering it for purchase in our own collection.  Telling him that it was unlikely to be purchased – because it’s an obscure textbook – didn’t seem like it was going to go over well (or at all or any of the subsequent times I’d try to explain it), so I just passed on his request to “the appropriate selector.”  I’m so sorry, PC.   You’re going to pound your head against your desk when you get him on the phone.

Then, also on the phone, there was a woman who was YELLING at me because she couldn’t log in to Freegal (our new music downloading service) with her card.  When I asked her what her card # is she acted all coy with me and said, “Now I know this is a card from another library, BUT!”  But that’s what your problem is, honey.  I can’t make that number work for you.  That’s how they check to see that you’re one of our patrons using our services.  “But I pay into your tax district!  I can show you my bill!”  I am gobsmacked at this point.  So I say, “Now, we can have an argument about this, but it doesn’t actually serve either of us – the reason your card won’t work is because it doesn’t have our prefix.  If you do live in our library district, you can come in and get a library card…  Although, if you then have to give up your other card, you’re also going to be giving up some of the privileges you have at that library.”  I ask her if her home library has a Freegal subscription.  “I don’t know.”  We both go online and discover, YES!  Yes, it does.  They have the same catalog of stuff, and she can totally use her card to access it.  Somehow she’s not angry with me anymore.  In fact, it was when I cut her off and told her arguing wasn’t going to help.  Which I thought was a bit childish on my part, and which I immediately regretted.  But, seriously?  It calmed her down.  Weird.  WEIRD.

I think if I just accept that this is how things are going to go for today, I might be able to get through it.  I have a presenter coming tonight – I hope that goes well.  I’d hate to round out the day with an hour of nervous and embarrassed humiliation.  That’d suck for sure.

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