Evidence

of my diminishing attention span:

This morning I got dressed and put on a bra, then started to put on another one on top of the first.  I guess you can never have too much support.  Halfway through this I stopped and looked at the mess o’ bras and thought, “Hey, now.  That’s a lot of bras.”  Everything is fine here now.

Doctor Glas

“We want to be loved.  Failing that, admired; failing that, feared; failing that, hated and despised.  At all costs we want to stir up some sort of feeling in others.  The soul abhors a vacuum.  At all costs it longs for contact.” (as quoted in “My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry,” by Fredrik Backman; from “Doctor Glas,” by Hjalmar Söderberg)

Deleted

my OKC profile today.  Completely.  It was as satisfying as creating it.  I got a message from OKC saying they’d removed a photo that some schumck deemed inappropriate.  I can’t even remember what I had up there that didn’t fit their guidelines…maybe the picture of my toolbelt?  (It’s waist down.)  I do find it irritating that someone felt the need to be an asshole about it, though.  Why would anyone care?  People with too much time on their hands.  Anyway, that won’t be a problem anymore!  I have fixed it permanently.  And some day there will be some new thing and new way to connect with people.  Maybe one that’s more satisfying (OKC hasn’t been that now for a long time).  Later, gators.

Your designer is a rabbit

I ordered some samples from FLOR the other day (the carpet tile people) to see them in person and decide what kind of colors/patterns I want to put down in the kitchen for Hickory.  There are a bunch of different styles I’m considering.

I gota message today from one of their designers, offering to help me design something special.  I wrote back explaining how my rabbit would be making the final call…  I thought it was sort of funny, but she probably thinks I’m either crazy or an asshole.  Also possible, I guess.

Still.  Looking forward to seeing my samples!  Hickory will be excited, too.  He just doesn’t know it yet.

No flying

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Copenhagen and I got back together for my lesson today (Hawk is on vacation).  He was a bit of a jerk – paying more attention to other stuff than to me – but we accomplished a sitting trot (finally) that didn’t feel like I was bouncing like a ball on his back.  Got to use the big arena, too!   This is us at the end of the lesson.  He’s ready for a nap, I’m…ecstatic about something.

So.much.

WORN OUT.  SO TIRED.

This Saturday was the first in three weeks that I haven’t had to work.  Except that I scheduled myself to help my parents paint the basement at my grandparents’ house.  Not exactly a relaxing break, but since they are “old and decrepit” (according to my brother), they don’t put in 12 hour workdays either, so I did the painting and when I was done (about 3 hours later) we went home!  And I went to Home Depot and bought stuff to make a temporary potting bench for Oatmeal’s room.  I need somewhere to start all of my tomato seedlings.

I sort of went overboard with tomato seeds.  I found a company that specializes in different tomato varieties, and ended up with 7 new species to try.  And they recommend starting them inside.  And my best light comes in to the 2 bedrooms that have south-facing windows.  Which means I have added the bench to Oatmeal’s room (and if I need more space, I will have to add a second one to my room)!  The board the plants will sit on is just under the window and higher than Oats will attempt to jump, so they will be safe from bun-splorations.  He was intrigued by the new additions to his space and took a nap under the bench this afternoon.  I think he likes it.  One of my renovation thoughts is to add some shelving/cabinets under the window in that room, so this is like trying out that idea in a not-so-permanent way.  Plus, plants!

After carrying all the concrete blocks into the house I was even more exhausted (I’d already been to the gym prior to heading over to my folks’ place).  I fell asleep while reading, but when I got up to brush my teeth, I couldn’t stop thinking about this idea I had for a drawing, and that distracted me for another hour at least (where I should have just done it, or worked on it, but instead tried to sleep)…which put me in bed at 10:30.  That was fine since I had to get up early this morning to start my laundry before meeting a friend for a hike.

We did not find dog hat, though we did revisit part of the woods where I lost it.  It was a beautiful morning – steadily climbing into the 60s – and we hiked a little over 4 miles (some of it very muddy).  Almost fell asleep while we were waiting to get seated for brunch, but quickly rallied once I had a bite of my sandwich.  PK recommended an apple bread gouda ham sandwich.  The apple bread would have made an excellent French toast all on its own.  I somehow missed the “ham” part – not my favorite, but the combination was still good.  It came with sweet potato fries.  Lovely.

A few more errands after that, then home where I continued the laundry and collected a bunch of small projects that I dumped on the floor in the living room to finish Once and For All.  Once the floor is empty, the projects will be done and I can go to bed.  Because SLEEP.

I wish I had had more energy for this day, because I *could* have gone for a bike ride – it was warm enough out.  And I could have had a fire (lots of wood/sticks came down in my yard in the past 3 months).  And I could have cleaned the house.  But, instead, I am cataloging my seeds, planning my garden, folding my laundry, and baking cookies.

I still need to draw the thing.

Flung

During my last riding lesson, Hawk tossed me out of the saddle when he saw gremlins midway across the arena (I’m half way through “Centered Riding,” by Sally Swift which suggests that this is a real possibility, especially if you forget to breathe – this is only partly tongue-in-cheek; you do transfer a lot of your feelings to your horse if you are tense, and one of the signs of tension is holding your breath).  He bounced to the left, and I pretty much hovered in the air above the spot where his back had been.  And then I didn’t.  It was one of those things that happened so fast it’s hard to remember/reconstruct the event.  I thought initially that it was my left foot that got stuck in the stirrup, but after thinking about it and examining the bruise on my right knee, it appears that it was my right foot.  Hawk went left, I went off to the right.  He was facing me when I fell, and I almost caught myself, but couldn’t get my foot out of the right stirrup.  I landed on my butt, so, it was a well-padded landing, and had a sore cheek/right hip for a couple days (plus the bruise on the side of my right knee).  Otherwise, I’m fine.  We did a lap or so with me leading him on the ground and then I got back in the saddle and we went back to our lesson without any more shenanigans.  Things actually clicked better after that and I had Hawk at a nice slow trot going both directions.  Briefly disappointed at the beginning of our lesson because we had been looking forward to using the larger arena, but a therapy patient unexpectedly showed up for his lesson, so we got reassigned.  I am hoping that when it gets warmer we’ll be able to ride outside (I think they have an outdoor arena) and have some more room to work with.

I’ve got another lesson coming up this week.  It would be nice if I could find my rhythm again.  I have lots of theory in my head, and exercises to help me practice, plus I know I’m capable of it since I’ve done it before.  <– Having done it before is what makes it frustrating since I’m not quite there right now.  Maybe I’ll ask my instructor if we can do balancing exercises while she lounges the horse – I can practice dropping my stirrups and sitting and posting a trot, and raising my arms to work on centering.