Uther Bundragon went to Toledo early yesterday morning. I’m not sure exactly what caused his sudden departure from the bunny coil. He had been eating and drinking, but seemed to be in some pain and when he hopped (or rather, dragged) he wobbled a bit strangely. He finally settled down next to his doe and did the squinty-bunny-something-is-wrong hunch and fell asleep. I propped him up with some towels to try and make him more comfortable and sat with him until about 2 a.m. When Oatmeal woke me up (by tossing the contents of his litter box) a few hours later, Uther had just passed on – he was still warm, but his fierce bunnality had fled. I cried. Because as much work as it is/was to care for A Bun With Needs, I wasn’t ready for him to go. I didn’t want you to die, Uther B, I wanted you to get better. But maybe these are the same things. He is certainly not in pain anymore, and I’m sure he’s making great headway with the lady buns in Toldeo. He’s that kind of bun. And, yes, he’s that charming. He certainly charmed me.
How old was Uther? I couldn’t remember exactly, so I checked his Bun Space profile, since I was good about filling in things like age and birth dates when I set that up. Uther was probably about 5 years old (assuming he was 3 when I got him back in 2012). Not really so ancient in bunny years, considering Powder and Pyong-Pyong lived to be 14 years old, but older than I’d thought.
All of my rabbits have had very different personalities, and I have loved them all, but Uther was very spssel.
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So, work yesterday was a TRIAL. Not because of anything I had to do, but just because I had to be there and because I was so, so sad. Really, try working a service desk and interacting with people while your eyes are itchy and puffy from crying and you have a raging headache. It’s not pleasant. HOWEVER, working with the public was easier than interacting with anyone who knew about my bun, because people want to comfort you, and you maybe want to accept that (awww, comfort), but every kindness makes you tear up AGAIN, and even talking about Uther made me miss him that much more. Awkward? Somewhat. And I had a big shock when I brought up my computer and remembered that my desktop background was a huge picture of Uther swimming around in his life vest. ACK! BUN! More tears. I was a wreck.
Some people were able to be comforting at a distance, which was really lovely, because I could sort of control my response. Like to the cards and baked goods. Baked goods = yum (apparently I can eat and not cry). Cards = I can read these later, but knowing they’re there for me and that people care is good for right now. One of my coworkers found some brown ribbon in the craft supplies and made little loops of it (like the breast cancer ribbons), which she then flipped upside down so that the ends of the ribbon stood up like ears. She quietly passed these out to a bunch of staff who all wore them for Uther Bun solidarity and remembrance. It was a little silly, but it was also very sweet. And everyone working last night was wearing them. I put one on, too. Oh, bun. How people loved you! (Or maybe how they love me who loved you.)
It was still so much easier to be with people who didn’t know. The big event (the one I had to be at work for) – a family crafting extravaganza – was exactly what I needed. Lots of happy people of all ages making stuff together. I had the kirigami (this is origami where you’re allowed to cut and tape and glue pieces together – not just strictly paper folding) snowflake station, which – I was informed by participants – was MUCH more difficult than the other crafts. We’d rated the difficulty of the crafts using Christmas trees. Mine was originally 3 trees, but after we’d discussed it, we upped it to a 4 and I stole one of the trees from the Melted Snowman Ornaments station, which was a lot easier than 3 trees, and degraded it to a 2. I felt much less fragile after being busy crafting and talking to people for 3 hours.
Oberon came out afterward to say goodbye to Uther and we were both sad together for a little while, but not the terrible sad I’d been most of the day. We were hanging out with Oatmeal, who is not sad at all, and Oberon helped himself to some of Oats’ kale. MY KALE! Oats responded by stuffing most of it into his bunny face, and acting like a bun who has never before been fed ever. That’s my breakfast bun!